Working 9 to 5

Or more like 7:30 to 5:30 ...

Yes, I'm officially back to work. A working mom. I've been back two weeks now and it's really not that bad, to be quite honest. I had one hiccup the other day while running errands during my lunch hour at the mall - there were TONS of moms pushing their kids around in strollers and my heart clutched a bit in my chest. I should be at the mall with my kids instead of heading back to work! But then I realized I have twins and going anywhere by myself is just crazy talk!

The majority of days, I kiss my boys good-bye and skip away. I'm HAPPY to be at work! I've gotten a lot of "Oh, how are you holding up?" with pitying faces. Um ... fine. Really. I'm fine. And then I feel guilty because I'm not crying over my iPhone pictures in my cube the whole day.

What I think makes a difference is that I'm working four ten hour days so that I have Friday off to be the boys. I LOVE IT. I so look forward to Fridays and it makes the long work days oh-so worth it. Plus, I really like our daycare. I feel comfortable leaving them there and with the people that are taking care of them. So with my mind at ease - I'm able to enjoy work. I like to think that I'll be a better mommy because of it. Once the boys start moving around and the weather gets really nice - I may have some trouble. But so far so good!

My boys are growing, growing, growing! Here they are at eight weeks:

Logan (left) and Cooper (right)

 

 

Now they are almost FOUR MONTHS OLD! I can't believe how time has just flown by ... I'll blink and they'll be in college. Slow down, my little tigers! Their personalities are starting to show. Cooper is Mr. Smiley Pants. This kid will be screaming his head off and will give you a smile while he does it; which helps ease the pain in my eardrums.

 

Logan is Mr. Stoic. He's definitely his father's son. Logan likes to observe and look around. The only thing this kid has of me is that he loves TV. I sit him up next to me and together we zone out to the tube. Parental Bonding.

Lord, my kids are cute.

I have to give some props to Husband. I know I toot his horn quite a bit but really, folks. He so deserves it. Take this past weekend - the boys brought home a nasty cold from daycare early in the week. I got hit with it worse than the rest of the family on Friday and it got worse as the weekend went on. Not only did Husband come home early from work, he took care of the boys by himself the WHOLE WEEKEND. If you are a parent to twins, you understand that twin parenting takes two. It can be very overwhelming if you are by yourself for an extended period of time. Our boys feed different, sleep different, etc. It's a challenge to console two screaming babies by yourself...

BUT - he did it and let me lay in bed. He washed bottles, did laundry, made dinner, and kept watch over our babies while I put my feverish, snot filled head to bed. And on Sunday night when Logan woke up screaming - Husband shooed me back to bed and took care of it. I have oh-so many blessings in my life ... my husband is my number one blessing.

Logan and Husband a few weeks ago. Mr. Logan woke us up early. If you look closely - the alarm clock says 4:25 a.m. That's early.

 

 

In a nutshell - I'm getting a hang of this mom thing. I love it. I love my boys and the joy they bring to us. Oh-so much joy. Yes, I'm tired. Yes, I (still) hate pumping. Yes, I miss my pre-pregnancy body. But I have two healthy boys. A loving husband. A flexible job. Life is good.

 

Just put me on a beach with sun, sand, ocean, and a pina colada and life will be damn near perfect. :)

 

~M



 

The "Mom Body"

It's been just about two months since I gave birth and I'm still adjusting to how completely my life has changed! And it's pretty darn cool. Really! It is! (and maybe the fact that the boys are amazing sleepers!)

Gone are the mornings of sleeping in and my leisurely shower. I'm on call for my little nuggets (with help from Grandma!)  And I feel like a slave to my breast pump - who I'm developing a serious love-hate relationship. At the moment - I HATE it. But I'm grateful to be able to supply breastmilk to the fellas. Pumping for twins is a daunting task and I feel that I sometimes spend more time with my  pump than my boys. Curse you, Medela.

But my biggest struggle is with my body. I KNEW my body would be different. I knew it! I thought I was prepared for the change. Not so much. I was in good shape during my pregnancy - I only gained 28 pounds but Lord! I don't think I was truly prepared...

And I completely blame celebrities. Yes, that's right. Celebrities. And their amazing bodies one, two, three months after giving birth and who claim to have lost weight by "running after their children." Harrumph. Explain to me how you lost weight "running after" your newborns ... But I digress. Celebrities give the general public a greatly distorted view of how a woman should look after giving birth. Women feel the pressure to get back to their pre-pregnancy weight immediately and men think women should be walking the Victoria Secret runway three months later (damn you, Heidi!).

Heidi 8 weeks after giving birth. (Gag)

Thankfully, Husband likes me just the way I am. But I'm still working on it myself. I'm in a horrible limbo at the moment where I'm still too big for my pre-pregnancy clothes but too small for my maternity clothes. I've pretty much lived in my PJ's (which has been so comfy!) but when it's time to actually get dressed and venture out into the real world - dilemma city.

I came across an article on Today.com (here) on how out of 3,000 women polled 31% hate their bodies. And my inner voice screamed "Me too!" The article ends with pictures of women and their post-pregnancy bodies. MAJOR kudos to them for posting pictures. They are much bolder than I. Their pictures showed me that I'm not alone. That there are other women going through what I am too. (I know, duh).

It's a mindset thing. An attitude thing. We leave for Florida in a few days. (17 hours in a car with two infants AND my in-laws. And, of course, we leave the day after the boys get their two month shots...Yes, we are crazy.) I've purchased a few things to get me through - mostly dresses to conceal the still-look-five-months-pregnant-tummy and my Pamela Anderson boobs (I can't tell you how much I miss my "old" boobs ...). Hopefully the dresses will get me through the week. Don't even get me started about swimsuit shopping. Horrendous.

So I'm learning to love the post-pregnancy me. I'm working out when I can and that helps me feel good. My body carried twins for (almost) nine months and successfully delivered twins. Not too shabby. I want to feel proud. So I'm working on it.

~M

P.S. here are the answers to said survey. Very interesting results!

Updates! Updates!

I have to be the world's worst blogger ... really, I am. But I'm back! I promise! So grab a cup of coffee, a muffin and sit down for a long read. Quite a bit of news to share!!

Here I am at 36 weeks at the end of December. I was feeling pretty good! A bit more round and the waddle had definitely set in. But all in all - I knew I'd make it to my projected date. The monitoring continued to go well and the babes were doing excellent.

I had an appointment with my OB and everything checked out fine. No swelling. No major contractions. The babies looked good. So we scheduled my C-Section for January 10th. Husband and I continued to procrastinate as we thought we had plenty of time!

I made it through Christmas! I made it through the New Year! Husband and I were high fiving each other on a job well done. January 10th was in sight!

Flash to Sunday, January 6th. The day before I had gone to get my eyebrows waxed, waddled around the mall, and hung out at my parents. Sunday - my back was killing me; which was no different from any other day as my back had been hurting for a good solid month. I mean, I had over 10 pounds of babies in my front! The back was bound to hurt! So I decided to be lazy on Sunday and keep myself on the couch. My dad came over to help Husband put a garage door opener on our 3rd car garage and I thought that would be a fabulous time to take a nap.

I awoke at 4:30 that afternoon and forced myself to get up. I waddled to the bathroom and turned on the shower hoping that would make me feel better. I hadn't taken a shower in about two days (ew. I know). I stop to go potty first and ... uh, wait. Was that my water breaking?! It sure wasn't like you see in the movies ala Sex in the City when Miranda's water breaks over Carrie's shoes. It just felt different...

I think that I'm losing my mind so I start to Google "water breaking" or "feels like when water breaks" and read up. Nothing seemed similar to what I just experienced so I figured I was overanalyzing. And I just wanted to take a shower! But ... I went to the bathroom one more time and it happened again. I decided to call the doctor to just make sure.

I explain what happened and she tells me that it sure sounds like my water is leaking and that I should head to the hospital. Wait ... what?! I'm scheduled to deliver in four days! I haven't taken a shower in three days! I'm not ready to give birth! I stupidly ask her if I could take a quick shower and she assures me that I should get myself to the hospital.

Oh boy.

Thankfully, I did have a hospital bag packed ... sort of. With shaking hands, I quickly grab what is needed and waddle down the stairs to Husband.

Husband is just stepping down off the ladder in the garage when I open the door.
Me: Um...You need to take me to the hospital.
Husband: What?! Why?!
Me: Well, my water broke and the doctor said to come to the hospital.
Husband: Okay. [Not moving - just staring at me]
Me: Um ... we need to go now.

Thankfully, Husband got his rear in gear. I sat in the kitchen crying in fear and excitement. My dad was wonderful and sat with me telling me everything would be okay. And then we were in the car on our way to the hospital.

We drove in silence holding hands. We just thought we had more time to prepare ourselves!

It being Sunday - the hospital was pretty deserted. No wheelchair to take me to the maternity floor. I had to waddle my way there - with my water leaking the entire time. Lovely. We get to the right floor (after taking a detour) and I'm standing for what seemed like ten hours at the Labor and Delivery Desk while they ask me all sorts of questions. And the water is still leaking.

FINALLY we get to a room and I put on a gown so they can start monitoring my belly. Husband had placed calls to the grandparents and they were on their way. We still didn't know if we were going to be delivering the babies that night or if I was going to be sent home. Finally we ask one of the many nurses in the room what is going on and she informs us that we are delivering the boys that night. In fact, here's the guy to put your epidural in! You're headed to the operating room in 15 minutes!

WHAT?!?!

Husband frantically calls our parents again to tell then to hurry. I quickly take this picture so I can text my brothers:

Notice the greasy hair and the look of excited panic.

The epidural wasn't that bad - I think I had a pro inserting it. Then they start to prepare Husband with scrubs and test me to how numb I'm getting. It's such a weird feeling! I'm yawning and shaking uncontrollably, thanks to the drug. And I started to REALLY get freaked out. Thankfully, my parents arrive just as they are about to wheel me into the operating room. So I was able to get a hug and some reassurance from my momma. It helped to calm me.

Once we get in the room - it's all business. I'm transferred to the operating table. Taylor Swift is playing in the background and all I can think about is that I don't want my boys to be born during her annoying "We are never getting back together" song. I'm still shaking and yawning but aware. The doctor doesn't waste any time and we're off and running. Husband stands by my side to watch while I just pray and stare at the ceiling.

I hear Husband gasp: "Oh, cool!" and then I hear our first little boy crying for dear life. Cooper Paul Proost weighing 4 lbs 14 oz and 18 inches long came out first. In the same minute (!) Logan Kenneth Proost followed shortly after weighing 5 lbs 14 oz and 18.5 inches long. Both babies crying and looking absolutely perfect.

I'm crying. Husband is crying and trying to take pictures and videos and make sure I'm okay. He was wonderful. From the time I called the doctor, got to the hospital, and delivered my boys - only 45 minutes had passed!

It was a slow Sunday, so no one was in the recovery room. Both grandparents could join us and we all hung out while the boys had their first baths and I came down from the heavy drugs. It was simply amazing to stare at these little guys and realize that they came out of my belly!

Cooper Paul Proost

 

 





Logan Kenneth Proost

 

We finally made it to our room at 11 p.m. that night. The boys were taken to the nursery so that I could recover (so recommend doing that your first night!). Husband passed out on the couch - but I couldn't sleep. I was just so wired and jazzed. I gave birth! I have sons! All the trials and heartache of the past three years seemed so far away. I'm a mom. I cried a bit and thanked God for the men in my life: Husband, Cooper, and Logan. I thanked God for their health. Both boys did not have to go to NICU - their coloring was perfect and they were able to breath on their own. I made it to 37 and a half weeks - so they think that definitely helped them! I was just so overwhelmed on how blessed I felt (and still feel!).

 

Our hospital stay was fantastic. The nurses were so helpful! I did struggle a bit with the drugs. While I so appreciate the epidural - it did a number on me. Headaches, nausea ... you name it. It was a bit miserable. Plus just having major abdominal surgery - you can't move as well... 

 

LONG story short (or shortened) - I would do it all agin in a heartbeat. To hold my boys and hear their baby noises or to hear them snoring - it just warms my heart to pieces. Little bitty pieces!

 

Here they are the day we headed home in Husband's lap. The trip out of hospital is a whole other story ... it will be quite the interesting day when I take the boys out in the real world for the first time! (It's still flu season, people! We're staying inside!!)

 

 

I'm so thankful for all the well wishes and prayers people have said for us. Everything went so smooth and we couldn't have asked for any more blessings!