Amazing Husband

I have to brag about Husband. He is, quite simply, amazing. More and more I realize just how amazing he is - through each of our trials and bumps in our journey ... He. Is. Amazing.

I was reminded (again) of this these past few weeks. To update you from my last post ... I got pregnant! I took a test and the nurses called and I was overcome with joy. I mean squeal and run around the room giggling like a maniac joy. I left work immediately and drove the 25 minutes to Husband's work where I blubbered all over him trying to tell him we were pregnant while everyone he works with was leaving the office for lunch and staring at us. (He was slightly embarrassed ...) I then drove the 30 minutes to my parent's house screaming "MOM! MOOOOOOMMMMMM!" Until I found her and then blubbered all over her and my dad.

It was wonderful. Husband walked around with a bit of a dumbfounded look on his face like this is really happening. And would nod and smile at me when I insisted that my belly was growing and I needed cute maternity clothes asap. We started talking names. Husband would rub my belly every night before bed. I bought tons of books and would read them out loud to Husband (who is not a fan of reading). We started planning and talking of our future and of the year to come. It was just lovely.

At six weeks, we headed to the doctor to get our first ultrasound. We'd get to see the heart beat and do a check up. Talk about excited! We walked into the hospital holding hands and I teased Husband that we may have twins. It was so fun. Then the ultrasound. No heartbeat. And the fetus was super small. I laid on the table and cried for 15 minutes while the (insensitive) ultrasound lady took a gazillion pictures. And then we heard the news we already knew: failed pregnancy.

I (somewhat) held it together while we were in the doctor's office. But the minute we got to the car - I sobbed. Wracking, silent crying at times sobs. Husband just sat with me and held my hand. I called my mom and sobbed some more. Bless her heart - she called everyone we had told so I wouldn't have to. The rest of the day had me sobbing at random times; usually out of the blue. Husband would just hold me or scratch my back, rub my hair ... I was so wrapped up in myself and how I was feeling that I never thought to ask if he was okay. I finally came to my senses when I saw him crying with me at one point. My body has to go through the miscarriage - but Husband has to watch it all unfold (and feel helpless). I don't know if one is worse than the other.

Tomorrow I get a suction D&C where they will suction out my uterus lining and test the tissue to see if it can tell us anything. I will bleed (a lot). And we won't be able to try to conceive until April. APRIL. Needless to say - I'm bumming hard core.

But Husband ... wonderful, amazing Husband. He has been right by my side this ENTIRE time. He takes time away from work, he stays home, he sits next to me for long periods of time to hold me when I cry. He makes me laugh. He get's me out of my blue mood. In a nutshell, he's been my rock; my anchor. I honestly have taken him for granted. What is second hat to me b/c Husband is like this all the time - is not necessarily true for everyone else. I am horribly, horribly spoiled by him.

And if he is this amazing with me - don't you think he will be the best gosh darn father, ever?!?! Yes. Yes he will.

So this post is a tribute to my husband. Who makes me laugh, makes me feel sexy, is sweet, KIND, funny as hell, super handsome, and a sexy beast. :) I truly, truly love him.

~M