Back in the saddle again ...

Do you remember Sleepless in Seattle? The scene where Tom Hanks starts dating again and the song playing in the background ... no? well, trust me its a song. And it was in that movie.

I had a miscarriage last month. My nurses call it a "Maybe Baby" because I miscarried VERY early (like two weeks) and my hcg horomone was too low - but high enough to be "slightly positive." So when you suffer from a miscarriage you must take at least a month off from TTC to let your body and inner lady bits recover.

So that was my June. Recovery. It was a bit bittersweet. I was so frustrated to be put on hold for a month. Once I got my period and the miscarriage was confirmed, I had geared myself back up for another month of treatments. So when they told me that we'd have to wait ... I was obviously upset.

BUT.

I was also exhausted. A year and a half of TTC is so tiring. And I was weary. Of all the tests, examinations, blood drawn ... So a month of not having to go to the doctor every week and just BE - was a bit appealing.

BUT.

We lost a month of trying to make a baby. A bittersweet; double-edged sword.

So now I'm back in the saddle. I went to the doctor today and I have my game plan. Of course, I'm on vacation when I need to be getting ultrasounds and shots (figures). But, if need be, I go to a pharmacy in Vail. I have no problems giving myself a shot. It is what it is ...

I'm emotional and nervous. You have to take a deep breath and ready yourself. I'm trying to stay positive. I'm trying to stay hopeful. Husband believes that I will get pregnant. I wish I had his confidence ... (But once again, I'm so thankful for his amazing husbandness.)

So we shall see. Until then I'll be humming "back in the saddle again..."

~M