Faith

Yesterday I was riding in the elevator to my fertility doc when a poster caught my eye. It said Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark.

I blinked dumbly at the poster my entire elevator ride to the sixth floor. How many times had I riden this same elevator never to notice this poster hanging on the wall?! For one thing - the picture they chose to go with the saying is uber cheesy and just doesn't do the phrase justice. So maybe that's why my eye passed over it ... Or I'm always looking at my phone on the way up and calling Husband on the way down. Who knows.

Yesterday was different. I had a sad day. And I felt like crap. I had a higher dosage of shot #1 on Monday and by Wednesday I was pretty tired of the side effects. But that poster just really made me think. Lately, I've been questioning God. Asking Him why. Asking him what the heck is up. Asking where He is. Basically, I've been a whiny Christian. "Why me?" "Why us?" Wah wah wah. There are times when I expect God to tell me "I'll listen when you speak in your normal voice." (Which is what my father would say to us when we started getting into whiny voice mode.)

So I thought about that poster all day. I met with my mom after my appointment and she just radiates positiveness. She's so faithful and trusting with God. And I so appreciate her and the role model that she is for me. So starting now - I will sing when the dawn is still dark. And I will appreciate and be thankful that God has blessed me in so many other ways rather than being so focused on my struggle with infertility.  I'm blessed to be leaving for Wine Country in t-minus THREE days with Husband. I'm blessed by having two mature eggs in my left ovary and one egg in my right ovary this round of treatment!

I needed to be reminded to be faithful. To trust. And to let God do His thang. Amen!

~M